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I Love You, Always, Forever

Recently I have been rediscovering pop songs from my youth. Since whenever it was that my consciousness reached the ‘next level,’ and I am now seeing Divine Perfection everywhere, suddenly I hear pop music in a whole new Light.

I had not been listening to much music during the early days of this transformation. Living in an abandoned house in the Guatemalan highlands, without electricity and no devices other than my kindle intentionally facilitated a certain disconnection from such things. So this new perspective did not come from hearing music I was already listening to in a new way, or even actively thinking of old songs with nostalgia. No. Instead, every so often, one will simply ‘pop’ into my mind or awareness.

The first one I recall coming to me is “As I lay me down to sleep,” by Sophie B. Hawkins. Growing up in a Christian home where my parents mostly played the closest thing to pop-gospel music they could find, this song was around me as a child. Back then and again up until recently I was so disassociated from any idea of God or spirituality that it never would have crossed my mind to think of this song in that way.

I can’t recall why exactly it came to me now- I remember thinking about the last time I heard it, years ago in Australia, parked outside my friend’s boyfriend’s house after driving all night on ecstasy. Oh what a peaceful experience I felt then (though I probably would not have permitted myself to indulge such a feminine song at that time sans the mdma). Another story. But this time, oh no, miles apart from any drug I suddenly had an urge to seek it out, and good heavens, I am grateful I did.

Now I listen to it all the time! And many others like it keep poppin’ up.

Can I safely say it is a cultural norm to associate pop music with cheesy teenage melodramatic puppy love? I think so. I feel that is shifting now but the 90’s was all about the boy/girl bands and this sort of thing. Or maybe that was just me… Hmmm… Because I think it’s easy to listen to a song like Sophie’s and imagine it to be romantic, about a distant lover of some kind. Or what many people believe, to be about her father who had passed away prior to its release.

Music is a work of art of course, and as with all things we can choose for this song to be about whatever we want it to be about, and so it will be. But that’s the point, isn’t it? I see everything as Divine now, and so now everything IS divine. Same song, same words, completely different meaning and experience.

As I lay me down to sleep
This I pray
That you will hold me dear
Though I’m far away
I’ll whisper your name into the sky
And I will wake up happy

Listening to this song and experiencing it as an expression of our relationship with God is breathtaking.

I thought of all this again now while talking with my distant lover who is missing me tonight. I sent her the song as she was laying down to sleep without me there to sing it for her. We know we are Divine, and tonight it can be a love song about us, too.

BUT. What was truly inspiring and brings all of this full circle came to me right after the song ended, because I played it for myself after sending it to her.

Right after the song ended, the next song that came on in the playlist was “I Love You, Always, Forever” by Donna Lewis. Now THAT, I thought, is for sure one of those classic 90’s teenage love songs, Right?

Feels like I’m standing in a timeless dream
Of light mists with pale amber rose
Feels like I’m lost in a deep cloud of heavenly scent
Touching, discovering you…

Out of the stillness, soft spoken words
Say, say it again

I love you always forever
Near and far, closer together
Everywhere I will be with you
Everything I will do for you
I love you always forever
Near and far, closer together
Everywhere I will be with you
Everything I will do for you

As I read these words over I feel the rush, the life of my Spirit flowing through me. When I put aside the program that tells me this is a silly, foolish woman who desperately wants some guy who probably isn’t that into to her to love her forever; when I put aside the program that says God is a Man and is obviously not some woman singing; when I put aside the program that says I am a Man and shouldn’t really be listening to stupid girly songs like this:

Out of the Stillness, soft spoken words.

I love you always forever
Near and far, closer together
Everywhere I will be with you
Everything I will do for you